Monthly Archives: August 2012

Not Fair!

Baby Sleeping on Mother's ChestThey talk about jobs having benefits. Pretty much every employment has benefits – insurance, paid vacations, bonuses, sick leave. Not to mention the prestige of some vacations, the interest others show in certain jobs, the admiration from others.

But “I’m a mom”? (Or “I’m a dad”)

Not much obvious admiration for that one.

And perks of the job?

You aren’t even allowed to honor yourself on the day you suffered the worst pain imaginable to bring that child into the world. Who gets the credit, the presents, the celebration, the cake and songs? Definitely not you.

But most of all, there is the unfair “balance of love” part.

How much do you love your child?

So much it hurts?

So much that you think about the little rascal every time you leave home?

So much that if he gets hurt, you wish it had been you instead?

So much that you can’t help but gaze at his little face when he’s sleeping, and kiss his head one last time before you head toward bed?

You know your little one loves you too and depends on you, but does he really love you that much? Is that feeling perfectly reciprocated? You look back to when you were a child.

Did you watch your parents when they were sleeping?

Did you miss them terribly every time you went out?

If your parent got an “owie” or was sad, did you wish it was you instead?

Probably not.

Parenting is unfair.

But don’t get me wrong. I never said it wasn’t worth it.

What boss would you love so much that you wish you could kiss away their hurt?

What co-worker would you be happy to gaze at while they sleep? Unless you run a family business and it’s your spouse, probably not.

What colleague do you miss when you are away?

You may not get a paid vacation. You actually don’t get paid at all, with money.

But the rewards are so much greater than any other job could ever be.

Unfair? Yes.

Worth it? Without a doubt!

Parenting is incomparable.


[Photo by © Jerry Tobias/Corbis]


A Parent’s Prayer

A ChildLord

…why is it that even with my own children I get tongue-tied

and can’t say the things that are aching to be said?

All I can get said is “Good-bye” and “Have a good trip!” and “Take care.”

And they are gone

…perhaps without even knowing the love in which they are held

the pride I have in them

the faith.

The memories of a thousand shared joys—aches—problems—crazy moments of fun—are there

…but all I can say is “Take care.”

Maybe there aren’t any words.

But, dear Lord, let me message get through to them, somehow.

Help them understand that some things are beyond saying.

Some moments are more than tongue can tell

or heart can hold in silence.

And the meaningless words I manage to say are fraught with love.

I guess they know, Lord,

…even as I know, through their tongue-tied good-bye and unsaid affection, the bond of love that continues to unite us.

I’m grateful, Lord, that it doesn’t have to depend on words.

Bless us with Thy unspoken word

Thy unspoken love.



By Jo Carr and Imogene Sorley, Plum Jelly and Stained Glass & Other Prayers

Found in Between Heaven and Earth, by Ken Gire