Not Fair!

Baby Sleeping on Mother's ChestThey talk about jobs having benefits. Pretty much every employment has benefits – insurance, paid vacations, bonuses, sick leave. Not to mention the prestige of some vacations, the interest others show in certain jobs, the admiration from others.

But “I’m a mom”? (Or “I’m a dad”)

Not much obvious admiration for that one.

And perks of the job?

You aren’t even allowed to honor yourself on the day you suffered the worst pain imaginable to bring that child into the world. Who gets the credit, the presents, the celebration, the cake and songs? Definitely not you.

But most of all, there is the unfair “balance of love” part.

How much do you love your child?

So much it hurts?

So much that you think about the little rascal every time you leave home?

So much that if he gets hurt, you wish it had been you instead?

So much that you can’t help but gaze at his little face when he’s sleeping, and kiss his head one last time before you head toward bed?

You know your little one loves you too and depends on you, but does he really love you that much? Is that feeling perfectly reciprocated? You look back to when you were a child.

Did you watch your parents when they were sleeping?

Did you miss them terribly every time you went out?

If your parent got an “owie” or was sad, did you wish it was you instead?

Probably not.

Parenting is unfair.

But don’t get me wrong. I never said it wasn’t worth it.

What boss would you love so much that you wish you could kiss away their hurt?

What co-worker would you be happy to gaze at while they sleep? Unless you run a family business and it’s your spouse, probably not.

What colleague do you miss when you are away?

You may not get a paid vacation. You actually don’t get paid at all, with money.

But the rewards are so much greater than any other job could ever be.

Unfair? Yes.

Worth it? Without a doubt!

Parenting is incomparable.


[Photo by © Jerry Tobias/Corbis]


About Bonita Jewel

Bonita Jewel is an author and blogger who writes on a variety of themes, including: Literature & poetry Writing Parenting Purpose After living in India from the age of 16 to 28, she returned to California with her husband and three children. She is pursuing a Degree at Fresno State University. Bonita teaches community education at Clovis Adult. Her courses include Blogging Basics, Power Editing, Creative Writing, and Working from Home. She also freelances as an editor, ghostwriter, and writing coach. Her greatest passions are her family, her faith, writing, and reading. Bonita Jewel has been reading since she was 2 ½. Thirty years later, she still loves the magic and mystery of the written word. She is slowly breathing life into roughly 50 novels and nearly as many nonfiction works, depending on which plot or character seizes her interest at any given time. Please connect with Bonita at:

Posted on August 15, 2012, in Fathers, Perception and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

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