The “Perfect” Family

Before becoming a parent, when picturing a family, we tend to visualize a “perfect” family scenario, with us as the perfect parent—ever patient, full of exciting ideas, bubbling over with love, never raising our voice or losing our temper. I think we confuse positive parenting with perfect parenting and then become overwhelmed when we can’t keep up with that unrealistic image.

A positive parent is not a perfect parent, because there is no such thing.

A positive parent is a happy parent, who takes each day as it comes. Maybe you don’t wake your child with a song each morning or remember to give him a balanced breakfast every single day, kiss his forehead and pray with him as you send him off to school with a healthy lunch, pick him up right on time (arriving five minutes early of course), smile at his daily rundown on how his day was (commenting on each thing he tells you) joyously wash his muddy laundry, pick up after him, and then put on your spotless apron so you can bake with your son and welcome daddy home with fresh chocolate chip cookies.

Perhaps instead, your kids wake you up on some days, and you groan because you really just need another five minutes of shut-eye. Maybe you snap at him for spilling his milk and you forget to put the fruit in his lunch bag. Maybe he’s the last one waiting to be picked up because you just had to take a nap. And you decide to order out because you can’t stand to see the kitchen for at least another 72 hours. Are you a complete failure at the whole parenting thing?

Of course not. Spread out a blanket and have a picnic on the living room floor, or let your child decide if he wants to eat outside. Relax and enjoy your time together, even if you must consciously push away the thoughts of everything being left undone at the moment.

Although we often tend to confuse perfect parenting with positive parenting, I don’t think our children hold us up to those same mental standards that we set for ourselves. Just try to enjoy being a parent – the highs and lows, the joys and sorrows, the fails and the wins – and your child will enjoy it too.


About Bonita Jewel

Bonita Jewel is an author and blogger who writes on a variety of themes, including: Literature & poetry Writing Parenting Purpose After living in India from the age of 16 to 28, she returned to California with her husband and three children. She is pursuing a Degree at Fresno State University. Bonita teaches community education at Clovis Adult. Her courses include Blogging Basics, Power Editing, Creative Writing, and Working from Home. She also freelances as an editor, ghostwriter, and writing coach. Her greatest passions are her family, her faith, writing, and reading. Bonita Jewel has been reading since she was 2 ½. Thirty years later, she still loves the magic and mystery of the written word. She is slowly breathing life into roughly 50 novels and nearly as many nonfiction works, depending on which plot or character seizes her interest at any given time. Please connect with Bonita at:

Posted on August 7, 2013, in Life Lessons, Perception and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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