25 Random Acts of Kindness (with Free Printable)

A Saturday morning from six years ago stands out in my memory. It is rare for a single day to do that, especially the older I get. (I wouldn’t be able to tell you what I did the last three Saturdays in a row.)

That morning, my husband and our three kids headed to a home not too far away to do some yard work.

That year, the theme of our church was “Love your neighbor” and each month there was a service project of some kind. That month, it was gardening and yard work for an older couple who also attended the church.

The woman loved her garden and spent a lot of time in it. She had also recently been diagnosed with an advanced stage of cancer and wouldn’t have the time to get her front and back yard in shape before starting chemotherapy.

So, my family and a few others from the church showed up one Saturday morning and she put us to work. We pulled weeds. We mowed the lawn. We helped clean out a shed. And we planted a couple of saplings in her front yard. I remember kneeling down, hands in the soil, putting a small tree into place.

“I’ll be able to look out on that from my window,” she said, “when I’m not well enough to get out among the flowers.”

She passed away within the year and I have not since been by her house. I have not seen whether the saplings rooted down and found life beneath the earth.

But I remember that day, working alongside my children and others, setting our hands to do something for others.

It’s not hard to do random acts of kindness. Much of it is just going about with open eyes, seeing and thinking about what this person might need, what might bring a smile to that person’s face … and then doing it.

And doing random acts of kindness with our kids? That’s exponentially more special. Young kids get excited about the thought of doing something for someone else. They know how much they love receiving gifts and favors, and it thrills them that as young as they are, they can do the same for someone else.

Even teenagers, as cool as they might play it most of the time, understand the value of acts of kindness. And these acts are contagious, too! Once they get started, they don’t want to stop!

The 25 random acts of kindness suggested below are things you can easily do, most of which don’t cost a cent, and many of which you can rope your kids in on.

And here’s the printable you can download and print out.

25 Random Acts of Kindness

1. At the grocery line, let someone go in front of you who only has a few items.
2. Buy a plant and place it in a pot for a friend.
3. Buy coffee for the person behind you in line at the local coffee shop.
4. Compliment another parent on how well-behaved their child is.
5. Compliment the first person you talk to today.
6. Donate old towels or blankets to an animal shelter.
7. Find opportunities to give compliments to people you know.
8. Learn the names of people you interact with regularly—neighbors, service workers, the local barista—and greet them by name. Greet strangers and smile.
9. Leave a box of goodies in your mailbox for your mail carrier.
10. Leave a server the biggest tip you can afford.
11. Leave quarters at the laundromat.
12. Offer to babysit (or kid-sit) for parents you know who could use a night out.
13. Offer up free things on Craigslist, OfferUp, or local Freecycle groups.
14. Pick up any litter on your street and put it in the trash.
15. Place a “positive body image” note in jean pockets at a department store.
16. Plan a clean-up party at a beach or park.
17. Post inspirational sticky notes around your neighborhood or at a park.
18. Purchase extra dog or cat food and take it to an animal shelter.
19. Run an errand for a family member who is busy.
20. Send a kind or positive text message to five different people right now.
21. Surprise a neighbor with freshly baked cookies or treats!
22. Take flowers or treats to the nurses’ station at your nearest hospital.
23. Take muffins or cookies to your local librarians.
24. Write a kind message on your mirror with a dry-erase marker for your children.
25. Write a thank-you note to a former teacher who made a difference in your life.

This list was adapted from randomactsofkindness.org

Featured image photo by Faith Giant

Fake Resting and Real Tired

I’m currently reading Present Over Perfect by Shauna Niequist. It’s a terrific read for women and especially moms. Tired moms.

One part really stood out to me, about what she calls “fake resting”.

Women are good at fake resting. Again, moms especially. We tend to be responsible moms and tired moms.

On weekends or evenings or even during vacations, the moms are the ones who will be tidying up the house, preparing the meals, cleaning up afterward, finishing up that last load of laundry, or making plans for tomorrow.

It’s like this little graph below, of what “I’m going to bed” means for the wife as opposed to the husband:

I laugh at the above list, but I also nod in agreement. It’s so true! And it makes for a tired mom.

I can’t count the number of times I’ve said something like, “I’m really tired; I’m going to bed early” and invariably end up in bed long after my husband because there’s always “one last thing” to do.

Here’s what Shauna Niequist writes about it:

This is what I call fake-resting. I’m wearing pajamas. The kids are watching cartoons, snuggling under blankets, eating waffles. Aaron [Shauna’s husband] is reading or sleeping. It looks like I’m resting, too. But I’m not. I’m ticking down an endless list, sometimes written, always mental, getting things back into their right spots, changing the laundry, wiping down the countertops.

Some might say this is being a mother, or a homemaker, or this is what women have been doing for generations: tending to the home stuff while men and children go about their leisure. Maybe so, but this woman and mom is exhausted. And tired of being exhausted.

So I fake-rested on Saturday, and then again on Sunday. The kids and Aaron napped. They played with Legos and went to bed early. They watched movies and ate leftover pumpkin pie. And I caught up on emails and ordered Christmas presents and cleaned out a closet and started packing for an upcoming trip.

I fake-rested instead of real-rested, and then I found that I was real-tired. It feels ludicrous to be a grown woman, a mother, still learning how to rest. But here I am, baby stepping to learn something kids know intuitively.

Part of being an adult is taking responsibility for resting your body and your soul. And part of being an adult is learning how to meet your own needs, because when it comes down to it, with a few exceptions, no one else is going to do it for you. …

We … want to be seen as flexible, tough, roll-with-anything kinds of women. And this ends up keeping us from asking for what we need, for fear of being labeled difficult or diva-ish. But what good is it doing to me to have people think I’m laid back and flexible … when really that cherished reputation keeps me tangled up, needs unmet, voice silenced?

Shauna Niequist, Present Over Perfect

Thankfully(?), I have a husband who’s a bit of an over-achiever. What I mean by this is, at least I don’t need to be resentful of him sleeping or reading while I’m working … he’s working, too.

It’s Saturday, and with us both being self-employed, weekends are the times to catch up on all the things.

Sometimes it’s good for at least one of the partners to be good at real-resting, to encourage the other one to slow down a bit.

We’re both good at fake-resting … or, not resting at all.

But Shauna’s point is one I need to keep in mind: “Part of being an adult is taking responsibility for resting your body and your soul.”

Is this something you also struggle with?

Are you a tired mom or are you taking responsibility for resting your body and soul?

We tired moms are good at taking responsibility for all the other things. The laundry and the lunches, the meals and the dishes, the schedules and the drop-offs.

But maybe we need to adjust our priorities if those long lists of ours never have “rest” in the middle or at the end.

Maybe we tired moms need to do some real-resting instead of fake-resting so we won’t end up perpetually real-tired and unable to connect with the deep parts of ourselves or connect more deeply with others from the best parts of ourselves.

Are All the Children In?

I think oft times as night draws nigh
Of the old farmhouse on the hill,
Of a yard all wide and blossom-starred
Where the children played at will.
And when the night at last came down
Hushing the merry din,
Mother would look around and ask,
“Are all the children in?”

Oh, it’s many, many a year since then,
And the house on the hill
No longer echoes to childish feet
And the yard is still, so still.

But I see it all, as the shadows creep,
And though many the years since then
I can still hear my mother ask,
“Are all the children in?”

I wonder if when the shadows fall
On the last short, earthly day,
When we say good-by to the world outside
All tired with our childish play,
When we step out into the other Land
Where mother so long has been,
Will we hear her ask, just as of old,
“Are all the children in?”

– Florence Jones Hadley

Doing the Parenting Thing All Wrong

Have you ever realized, one fine morning, that you’re doing the parenting thing all wrong? Not every parenting thing in every way. For me, it was in something that could be considered the most important … because its essence is forgiveness and grace.

I’ve been reading The Ragamuffin Gospel by Brennan Manning. In chapter four, the author states, “[The saved sinner] knows repentance is not what we do in order to earn forgiveness; it is what we do because we have been forgiven.” I read that and I thought of one of my children. Just yesterday (and the day before) I had talked with my child about “justifying” … these days, we call it “owning.” Own your mistakes. Don’t make excuses. Only then can you learn from them and move on. You’ll be perpetually stuck in the same place if you can’t admit it when you’ve done something wrong.

It’s all fair advice, but I’ve been going at it the wrong way. “Repentance is not what we do in order to earn forgiveness; it is what we do because we have been forgiven.” I am reading that book because of grace. The concept, the gift, the wonder that it is.

In my work as freelance editor, last year, one manuscript after another that I’ve edited has touched on the theme of grace. I’ve picked up books at used books sales or at the recommendation of a friend. Grace. I’ve listened to Christian radio, and my favorite bands are singing about grace.

Over the past year, I realized time and again that although I’ve accepted the grace of God through the sacrifice of Jesus Christ for 30+ years now, I never quite caught grace. With every book I read or edited, every song I heard or sang along with, I was broadsided with the epic wonder of grace. Because I so quickly forget it. Gloss it over. Stand on it, forgiven, yet fail to extend it to others.

This is what was doing with my kids. I’ve expected them to first “own” their mistakes or apologize … then I’ll forgive them. Then I’ll be gracious. It’s not like I’m standing over them saying, “I won’t forgive you until you apologize,” but I’m conveying that they need to own it in order to make things right. I’m teaching them to be responsible, right? Not to grow up with the victim mentality that “it’s-everyone’s-fault-but-mine.”

Important, yes … but not vital.

Not vital like the grace that says, “The saved were home before they started,” that says, “while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.” Not after we apologized. Not once we pulled up our socks or made a show of shame. He died for us while we were in the middle of the muck and mire of this sin-stained world. And He continues to extend grace every moment of every day.

Every moment. Of every day. I don’t understand it. But it rings with such deep truth that it ripples into eternity.

God, help me to do offer grace and forgiveness to my children, to those around me. I’ll never “get it” because Your grace, mercy, forgiveness, and love are beyond comprehension. But it doesn’t mean I can’t give it to others. Your grace is enough. Always.