Monthly Archives: June 2023
9 Ways for Moms to Eat Healthier This Summer
In my last post, I mentioned that I was inspired to keep writing in this blog partly due to a kale smoothie and my son’s snarky comments about it.
I mentioned that I haven’t been eating so healthy; I didn’t mention that when I got a routine blood test a few months ago, my doctor mentioned my cholesterol is high (the bad cholesterol) and encouraged me to eat better. And with a visit to the doctor last week, although he didn’t do a blood draw, they did the little finger poke to test hemoglobin and that was low, which meant my iron levels aren’t so great.
Those two factors back to back, and also the fact that most of my pants no longer fit me, conspired to inspire me to eat better.
So, I’m kind of embarking on it at the same time but I also want to share with you some things that I think will inspire not just healthy eating, but healthy living overall.
And these suggestions will enable not just you but others in your family to eat and live healthier lifestyles too. What do I mean by that?
Let’s start with the first point.
Eat Healthier by Focusing on Your Eating Habits
If you’re a mom with young kids or a working mom with older kids (or even a working mom with no kids at home), we know that life is busy. There’s always something more that we could be doing but often—especially for moms of young kids or children who are still at home—our tendency is to focus on the kids first. This means that we moms don’t always make our healthy eating a priority.
This is evidenced by a book I’m reading by Jane Rubietta called Quiet Places. She mentioned that she could only eat certain things, so much of the time she would end up making healthy food for her family members and end up with absolutely nothing for herself to eat.
Clearly, this is not sustainable or healthy, but it’s kind of natural. This woman is a speaker and found that when she said this to a group of women, it resonated with other mothers as well.
So, the first and most important way to eat healthier is to focus on yourself and your healthy eating.
And honestly, this will trickle down to your kids more easily than you might think. Case in point, when I was making that smoothie yesterday, my son came into the kitchen. And if the smoothie were any color other than green, he would have been glad for a glass of it. This is a boy who generally prefers burgers, hot dogs, and pizza for dinner. It’s a struggle to get him to eat a balanced diet but he will down a smoothie, no sugar added, without complaint.
So, if I did take the time to make myself a healthy smoothie, guess who else would be eating healthy? My son.
So, if you’re trying to eat healthier, focus on yourself and the positive effects will trickle down to your other family members. If nothing else, you will feel better and more energetic if you’re eating well and not skipping meals.
Plan Your Meals in Advance
I might have mentioned that I enjoy making schedules and planning things. The problem is that I’m often too ambitious. When I try to make a plan and do my shopping for the whole month in advance, it turns out too big of a task, so I end up not doing it again for another year.
What I learned from that is that it’s good to plan ahead but do it in a way that works for you. Sometimes a loose plan or a flexible one, like a menu with several breakfast, lunch, and dinner options for a two-week period works well.
Then you can choose seasonal fruit or do some bulk shopping and get a bunch of produce that you can wash and freeze in advance for smoothies or something practical that saves times and enables you to eat healthier.
Do Some Meal Prep Ahead of Time
This will be more practical for some moms than others, but if it works for you, it can definitely help you moms eat more healthy.
For instance, if you work throughout the week and have a busy schedule, you might plan to do a bunch of washing and chopping and freezing of fresh fruits and veggies over the weekend, ahead of time. Then when it comes time to make your meals, you’re able to do it in a short period of time but you’re still working with healthier foods than if you’re just opening a can or tossing noodles with powder into a pot.
Eat Healthier by Not Being too Strict
Seriously, allow yourself some cheat days. (This might also be a cheat evening), the point being that you aren’t so strict with your healthy eating that you grow weary of it within a few days and go back to eating an entire bag of chips in a single sitting and then giving up all together.
Believe me, I have done that as well.
I love Anne Lamott’s quote about giving yourself grace. She probably says this several places throughout her books, but basically if you fall off the bandwagon (or if you never quite make it on the bandwagon of healthy eating to begin with), that’s not a reason to give up all together.
Just try the best you can.
But trying the best you can really does become easier if you allow yourself your special treats on your cheat days or cheat evenings. (Just make sure you don’t go overboard.)
For instance, I can do really well at eating healthy throughout the day, but when it comes to the evening, when I’m relaxing, that is when I can end up eating an entire box of sour patch kids and then start looking around for what else is crunchy and munchie in or on top of the fridge.
So, if I allow myself a little break, I also need to make sure that I am being moderate and allow myself to cheat a little or have a little treat but not overdo it.
Tell Your Family You’re Focusing on Healthy Eating.
If you’re the mother of the household and you do most of the shopping, this might or might not have much bearing, but the reason to tell others that mommy is trying to eat healthier is twofold.
One, if others do bring home food, they are aware that you are trying to eat or healthy. For instance, I mentioned this to my husband a few times over the last couple of days and today he ended up bringing home bananas, cherries, strawberries, grapes, mushrooms, a basil plant, and only one bar of dark chocolate from the store.
In the past, the ratio of junk food to fresh and healthy food would have been inverse.
He knows I’m trying and he is trying to make it easier for me.
I said this one is twofold and the other reason is this: you tell your children that you’re bringing home nothing but healthy food for the entire family and they might mutiny. But if you let them know that you’re trying to eat healthy and that you’d appreciate their help with it, they will probably be easier to work with and not assume that you’re trying to completely change their lifestyle just because you’re trying to change yours.
Again, the ripple effect is a powerful one and can be effective.
Don’t Wait Until You’re Hungry to Start Foraging.
This is seriously the one thing that if I get it down will be a game changer for me.
I always wait until the last minute. I don’t exactly have blood sugar problems but I’ve always had a fast metabolism and sometimes from one moment to the next, I simply can’t think straight.
So I go to the quickest and easiest thing in the pantry which are always carbs and sugars—basically, the very worst things.
I’ve been trying to do better with us over the last couple of days and I’m finding that it really is working well if I’m not voraciously hungry to focus on making something higher in protein, iron, fiber, and all the good stuff.
Eat Healthier by Eating Mindfully.
This doesn’t necessarily mean you need to give thanks for every meal although an attitude of gratitude never hurt anyone. There are probably studies out there showing that eating with a grateful and content heart actually helps digestion.
But this is about slowing down and being more mindful when you eat.
Of course, you probably won’t be able to do this for every meal but try to have at least one meal in the day where you take it a little more slowly, where you focus on the presentation and the beauty of the dish itself or the colors.
Or even if you don’t have time for that, just slow down a little bit when you eat. Focus on the texture and the flavor of the food.
Slowing down also helps with digestion as well as with you feeling full; it gives your brain a change to catch up with your stomach and know when you’re full so you don’t end up overeating.
Mindless eating is probably responsible for a lot of the extra pounds that I’ll be trying to lose over the next little while.
Invest a Little in Healthy Eating.
We all know inflation is a bear and things are more expensive than they ever have been.
It can be frustrating to live within a budget especially if income levels haven’t changed while expenses have only increased.
But if you’re a mom focusing on healthy eating, it makes it a lot easier if you invest a little bit into it.
This doesn’t mean a huge amount. Not everyone can afford to shop at those top-spots. But when I go shopping, I’ll allow myself an extra few dollars for something that I enjoy and that is healthy.
For instance, I have a favorite cereal that is healthy but not available in many stores and tends to be expensive. So I’m planning on finding that cereal next time I go shopping; that will be a little treat for myself.
Last time I went shopping, I picked up some onion and chives spreadable cream cheese, which isn’t like some amazing, expensive thing, but it’s something I’ve enjoyed several times recently on Triscuits and whole wheat toast.
(It’s healthier than the other readily available option on the kitchen table which is muffins from Costco. That was before I talked to my husband about eating healthier.)
Have Fun Eating Healthy
So, I hope these suggestions on ways for moms to eat healthier this summer are helpful—not just for you but for your family.
And I hope they are helpful not just for short-term binge dieting so you look better in a bikini. (Believe me when I say my bikini days are long gone.)
But I hope these suggestions help you live a more sustainably and long-term healthy lifestyle and have fun while doing it. Nobody wants to live healthy, but be miserable.
Reminds me of this little joke:
An 85-year-old couple were married almost 60 years before they both died. They had been in good health the last 10 years, mainly due to the wife’s interest in health food and exercise.
When they reached the pearly gates, St Peter took them to their mansion, which was decked out with a beautiful kitchen and master bedroom and spa. As they looked in awe, the old man asked St Peter how much all of this was going to cost.
“It’s free,” St Peter replied. “This is Heaven.”
They went to a club house and saw the lavish buffet lunch with the cuisines of the world laid out.
“How much to eat?” asked the old man.
“This is Heaven, it is free!” St Peter replied with some exasperation.
“Well, where are the low cholesterol tables?” the old man asked timidly.
St Peter lectured, “That’s the best part, you can eat as much as you like of whatever you like and you never get fat and you never get sick! This is Heaven.”
With that, the old man went into a fit of rage, throwing down his hat and stomping on it and shrieking wildly. His wife and St Peter both tried to calm him down, asking him what was wrong.
The old man looked at his wife and said, “This is all your fault. If it weren’t for your blasted bran muffins, I could have been here 10 years ago!”
So, here’s to healthy living and happy living.
Ways for Moms to Save Time This Summer
I have a book on my shelf titled More Hours in My Day written to moms who want to save time and organize their life. The cover makes me laugh, not just because it is a shade of purple that wouldn’t go over these days but because it has a little subtitle that says “updated for the 90s”.
Glancing at the introduction, I see the original version was written in 1982. The year I was born.
The author, Emilie Barnes, was an author and speaker; at the time the edition I own was published, she was speaking to over 8,000 women each year at conferences, retreats, and her “more hours in my day” seminars to help women save time, especially moms.
Emilie Barnes has an interesting story. She had a “thrown in the deep end” start to parenting, when, at the age of 20 with her daughter a few months old, her sister-in-law walked out on her husband and three preschool children. The father wasn’t able to take care of them for several years, so Emilie and her husband Bob brought the children in.
At 20 she was a mother to four children under the age of four. A few weeks after welcoming the three children into her home, she realized she was pregnant. At 21, she was the mother of five children under the age of five. This was 1960, and needless to say, she learned how to save time, organize her house and schedule, and make more hours in her day out of sheer necessity.
Basically, before Marie Kondo and the life-changing magic of tidying up, there was Emilie Barnes teaching women how to have More Hours in Your Day, how to Clean out the Clutter, and offering Simple Secrets to a Beautiful Home. She wrote 14 books solely on the topic of organization and time-saving.
I read the book several years ago and plan on reading it again. One chapter has some great tips on saving time by not wasting motions. Here are a few of her tips, along with some personal insights on how these tips can be updated (not for the 90s but for the 2020s).
Save time by using a to-do list:
“Each evening before going to bed or before leaving the office, I make a list of what I need to do tomorrow. Then I go one step further. I rank items according to priority: one, two, three etc. Tomorrow morning, I start working with #1, then go to #2. It’s not long before I’ve made a real impact on that list.”
Emilie Barnes
Update for Moms Saving Time in 2023:
I used to be far more consistent in keeping a To Do List. This is something I’ve kind of gone back and forth with, because in embracing the mom I am now, I like not being bound to too specific of a list of things to do.
And as a writer, I also like to have flexibility in the writing that I’m focusing on or the areas of interest I want to pursue on any given day.
At the same time, sometimes I feel like the entire morning goes without me accomplishing anything important because there’s always other stuff that needs to get done. Laundry, taking care of the pets, responding to messages on Facebook marketplace, answering a few texts … before I know it, it’s afternoon and I haven’t finished any editing or writing.
So, there’s a balance to be found. A priority To Do List is helpful in jotting down the things you know you have to do that day, so you don’t forget about the important things, and then an ongoing To Do List of things that you would like to get done that week but don’t absolutely have to be done that day.
That way, you can focus on the most important things and then if you have extra time, you have the flexibility of deciding what you want to focus on.
Plan on doing more than one thing at a time:
“Most women can do more than one thing at a time very easily with a little training. I find that a long phone extension cord in my kitchen is a must. I can do any number of things while talking to a friend or relative. … If you’re into exercise and you have an indoor exercise machine, this is a great time to read your favorite book as you walk on your treadmill.”
Emilie Barnes
Update for Moms Saving Time in 2023:
Technology has made it so easy to multitask and thereby save time.
I had a client who I worked with as a freelance writer and editor, and this was a high-level guy who was always busy. Whenever we had calls, he was either walking for exercise or on his way from one place to another in his vehicle. He used that time wisely.
Multitasking is something that takes practice because not everything can be multitasked.
Usually, you need to do one focused thing at a time; the other task you take on should not require focus. For instance, listen to an audiobook or podcast while folding laundry or doing the dishes. But don’t try to listen to an audiobook while trying to decide how you’re going to reorganize your closet. That takes more focus, and you will either tune out of the audiobook or you’ll have a hard time making decisions about the task before you.
Group your shopping trips together:
“Keep a list of items you need to buy: books, videos, Christmas gifts, clothes, cosmetics, housewares, birthday and anniversary gifts. When you see a sale or go to a store, you can acquire what’s on your list. This will save time and a lot of money later.”
Emilie Barnes
Update for Moms Saving Time in 2023:
A lot of stores have apps where you can keep an ongoing shopping or grocery list. Then, you can simply check out and plan your pick-up time. By shopping online—whether it’s Whole Foods via Amazon or using the Walmart app, you will find it easier to stick to your shopping list and not get distracted by items you don’t need that are waiting at the checkout line (i.e., candy bars and chips).
This also saves time; if you pick up from a store that’s 10 or 15 minutes away, it’s a half hour round trip rather than hours scouring the aisles, and (if you’re a parent) contending with young children who want this, that, or the other added to the shopping cart, then waiting in line, dealing with the stress of bagging your items or struggling to find the right change (or credit card) with people waiting in line behind you.
In short, pickups can save both time and money as many of them also offer pick-up service for free.
Read or write while you wait:
“I have a ‘to read’ folder that I take with me when I know I’m going to have to wait. I get caught up with all my junk mail, letters, correspondence etcetera. I even carry along a few thank you notes so I can write a friend.”
Emilie Barnes
Update for Moms Saving Time in 2023:
Now that we have smartphones, there is plenty we can do when we’re waiting at a doctor’s office or kids appointment, but it involves some intention. In short, it involves deciding not to mindlessly browse social media but to do something constructive instead.
When you’re waiting to pick up your kids from school or practice, it’s a perfect time to catch up on backlogged emails, delete the ones that you don’t need, respond to the ones that you can answer quickly, and then save the ones that require more time or attention for later.
As a writer, I also use time waiting to jot down ideas for blog posts, or use it to craft a creative post on social media.
I often use my driving time (when alone) to record my journal using voice-to-text on my gmail. I send it to myself, then when I’m on my laptop later, I copy it into my journal document.
I also love the idea of keeping thank you cards or blank cards in your purse. As we so rarely send and receive “real” mail these days, time waiting is an ideal opportunity to think of someone you might want to jot a note to or someone who you’d like to thank with a card they can hold in their hands. Elderly people in your church or community, relatives, and young people away at college are ideal recipients for notes if you can’t think of anyone to write.
Hopefully, these ideas on saving time will help you on your way to creating more hours in your day. Hint: it’s actually impossible to do so; what we must do then is redeem our hours by using them wisely.
An important final note on saving time:
While it’s an important practice to learn how to save time and multitask and make the most of the hours in your day, you don’t want to make this too important.
There were ongoing stages in my life where I felt like if I wasn’t doing something constructive, something useful, that I was completely wasting my time. I felt guilty. I believed I always had to be doing.
But there’s something to be said for just being.
For taking a day off. For sitting outside in the evening and watching birds fly overhead. For catching a matinee on the weekend without feeling guilty.
So, in practicing ways to save time, don’t become a slave to time-saving methods.
Whether your schedule is tight with every hour slotted in or more flexible, allow yourself time to just be. Time to discover, time to play, time to breathe.
The Mom I Am Now
If you subscribe to this blog, this is the first post that has popped into your inbox for a while. You might be surprised or perhaps even forgot you subscribed to Positive Parenting Blog.
For the lengthy gap in time between this post and my last one, I apologize …
and I also want to explain.
It has to do with the mother I am now.
And it started with me making my very first kale smoothie.
Kale is growing really well in my backyard, which is a first. I tried growing kale before, but when the days started getting hotter (which happens every year in California’s San Joaquin Valley), the kale died. I figured it did not grow well in this climate.
But I decided to try again and planted it in late winter. This time around, the weather grew warmer and couple times the highs came close to 100, and the kale is still growing and flourishing.
I really have no excuse not to be eating healthy with an abundance of backyard kale, but lately I really haven’t been eating healthy.
This is the mother I am now: I love sour patch kids. I love chocolate. And I really like cookies (especially shortbread cookies and soft homemade cookies). Basically, the less healthy it is for me, the more I will want to eat it. Oh, and I love popcorn, and since the easiest popcorn to make is the microwave variety … let’s just say that a few times lately, I had popcorn and cupcakes for dinner. The cupcakes were leftovers from my son’s graduation party.
Speaking of graduation, with half a dozen of his friends graduating this month also, there have been lots of gatherings and lots of opportunities to consume sodas, cake, and all kinds of sweets.
So, back to that kale smoothie …
It wasn’t just kale, but I picked three large leaves of kale and tossed it in my handy, dandy magic bullet blender with a handful of frozen berries and half a frozen banana, along with some fresh ginger and water.
I blended it up and it was green. Very green.
My son came in and asked if I was making a smoothie; he enjoys berry smoothies when I make them. But I haven’t made a smoothie for a while, as I’ve been too busy eating popcorn and cupcakes and my secret stash of sour patch kids.
He took one look at my kale smoothie. I told him the kale was fresh from the backyard.
He told me, “Mom, you’re turning into a typical 40-year-old white woman.”
Now if you don’t have children, I would recommend it if only for the sarcasm they suddenly develop in their teenage years. My son is 14 and making up for lost time.
I laughed along with him and told him that I plan on making avocado toast next.
He set me straight by saying, “No, avocado toast is the typical diet of a white 30-year-old.” So apparently, I am no longer eligible for avocado toast.
It was a silly exchange and I drank some of the kale smoothie and gave some to my daughter, who actually drank it …
But my son’s words got me thinking.
Thinking about the woman that I am, the mother I am now.
I started this blog 13 years ago when I was in my late twenties and a mother of three children eight and below. I was in many ways, a different woman.
I was ambitious and idealistic and possibly a little too driven. Driven by perspective of the mother I wanted to be and thought I needed to be.
But a lot happens in 13 years. Disappointments and setbacks. Shake-ups and shakedowns. My children have faced challenges I would not have imagined 13 years ago. I also have faced difficulties I didn’t picture having to deal with, ever.
But there have also been successes and accomplishments, joys and triumphs I would not have foreseen 13 years ago. And also, there has been grace. Not just in the difficult times but possibly because of them.
My daughter, after nearly two years away at college (only returning home for short Christmas visits), is home for the summer, and she made this observation:
“Mom, you’re so much more lenient than you were when I was younger.”
And in some ways, that’s the way it’s supposed to be. You have to let go of the reins a bit as your children grow up. You have to let them move on into making more decisions on their own.
But it’s more than that.
As an idealistic mom who didn’t let video games inside the house, for instance, I would hardly have imagined video games would actually help one of my children when they were struggling with severe anxiety.
I would not have imagined bonding time with my kids would center on lengthy discussions about Minecraft, World War II weaponry, or that it would involve binging on a TV series some would consider horror.
But, surprise, surprise. This is the mother I am now.
I am raising three children-turned-teenagers who are turning out to be very different from me, who have different interests and skills, resonate with different things, and are taking different paths.
Who would have thought, right?
I expected that by now I’d have a few more things down as a mother. That I would have a regular meal plan and shop only according to that plan. That I’d have a consistent chore schedule and my children would be skilled and taken over completely with things like dishwashing vacuuming and pet care.
But this is the mother I am now
Not the mother who consistently exercises but one who manages to take the dog for a walk every once in a while.
Not the mother who consistently eats all the right foods—high in protein and iron and fiber content, but who occasionally makes a kale smoothie or considers the benefits of trying out avocado toast even if I’m not in the right age group.
I’m a little bit more lax and a little bit more relaxed.
I know that doesn’t mean I have the perfect balance. It doesn’t mean that I’m not still striving to reach goals and desires, brimming with ideas and ideals, for myself and for my children.
So here we are, because it’s the only place I can be, the mom I am now.
And it is reboot of sorts for positive parenting blog or perhaps a reorientation. I’m hoping to do posts once a week, most likely on Saturday when you will hopefully have some spare time to read it.
Also, I currently have other focuses, including writing focuses.
If you aren’t aware of it, I’ve been posting for a few months now on Substack and would be thrilled if you headed over there to check it out. I post three times a week for all subscribers and an additional post each week for paid subscribers, on a publication I’ve titled Limning the Ordinary.
I’m also working on my fiction WIP and preparing that for a few beta readers in hopes of getting my novel published sometime in the near future.
And, of course, I’m a mom of three teenagers and a wife to a terrific guy who has started a business of his own in the last few years and still finds time to cook a good meal for us at least once a week. (I help him with his business also, so it’s a decent tradeoff.)
I’m still a freelance editor. Lately, one of my projects has been working with Hip Homeschool Moms and assisting with their blog posts on various websites. If you’re not aware of them, they definitely have a lot going on for moms of younger children and moms of teenagers. They also have a recipe blog.
And since it’s been a while since we’ve caught up (entirely my fault), feel free to leave a comment. Let me know how things are going with you, how the parenting life is treating you.
Maybe you’re figuring out life as an empty nester or a foster parent. Maybe you’re just launching into having children in school, or you’re in the middle of parenting teens, like me.
Until next Saturday, be well.
Embrace the parent you are now, even if it’s not the one you thought you would be.
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